Talking to myself

It sure has beea month of emotions from ... high to low... and everywhere in between. I have my preliminary diagnosis from my neurosurgeon. Chiari Malformation (knew that one), retroflexed odontoid with pannus, low lying spional cord conus, ehlers danlos unspecified, right sided anterior spinal stenosis with impingment into the spinal cord. Those are the ones I know for sure. All this from one MRI and medical history. The radiologist read the mri and said mild degenerative disk disease and mild compression. Thank God for my neurosurgon for knowing what he is looking at. When I got the mri disk I could not believe my eyes at what I saw too. Any one can look at it and say WTF??? Because of a uneducated radiologist my pcp thinks it is ok. So now my neurosurgeon is going to call her and set her straight. He is the surgeon that has saved my sons life in many situations with his chiari and related disorders. Here is the picture of my mri just so you can see what I am tlaking about. I should try to edit it to show arrows to what I am talking about cant do that type of thing on this computer.

The first surgery is to repair the spinal cord impingment at C5-6-7 He will go through the front of my neck to do it and then fuse with a metal plate in the front of my spine. Once that has healed I will then go back to have the Chiari addressed. That is a posterior fossa decompression with lamenectomy of C1-C3 and duraplasty. He is not sure if he can do anything with the odontoid situation. The odontoid is causing brain stem compression. That is causing me to have the drop attacks and the caughing and breathing issues. I have a hard collor that I am to wear when I am out and about like shopping or driving or riding in a car. It is not confortable at all. But it may save my life If I fall again. I n ow start my insurance hell. I will fight because it will save my life. I am so sick and tired of being in pain and having no brain it seems. I am having times when I have no idea what I am doing and it scares t shit out of me. The other day I was trying to make a salad and I could not remember how in the to make the dressing. I couldnt put my words together to even ask any one what I was doing. If I do not write anything down these days I totally forget it. Been in way too many arguments with family members lately as to they told me something and I do not remember it. I just want my life back. I am afraid of losing the use of my hands and arms. I cooked fried tomatoes and egg pland and zucchini the other day and I did not have enough use of my arms to pull my pants down to use the bathroom. My arms and shoulders hurt so bad I wanted to die. So I just go to bed and hope and pray no one needs me to do anything for them till it get a bit better. I am sure Nathan would understand if I told him what was going on but no one else does in my house. I have to figure out how to raise some money to get to NY and pay for the variety house while I am there and taxi fees and so on. It will happen I know this for sure I just have to work out the details. On some good news... My HbA1c was a 5.8 and my cholesterol was normal!!!!! I am officially down 60 pounds since January of this y3ear. The ViSalus worked. Still using it. Had about 2 weeks off of it because of some gi issues I was having. I could keep down carb like foods like dry crackers but anything else no way. So I ate crackers with a bit of PB and drank fluids. The shakes even made me throw that up. But I have been back on it for the past few days again now. My endo was very happy with my progress and that made me very happy too. On to my day. Hope you all have a good day in all of thie heat. Till next time <3