I placed my shake order on friday so I hope it is here tomorrow. I did weigh myself and measured too. I also took a horrible side view picture for my before pic. I know it is hidious! but what is more hidious is the picture of my box of 3 weeks worth of insuline filled syringes. I am not being very patient waiting for my product to show up. Another of my goals in this journey is for me to get off of ssi and medicaid. I have been told I am crazy not just by friends but by M. and that hurts. I am so tired of living month to month. I really want to buy my own home again. But would love to buy one on short sale or from the bank and be able to pay cash. I want to be able to pay for private insurance. I am tired of the day to day fight with insurance from the govt. There are many things I want but most of all I want my health back. I know I may never be 100% but I want to be as close as I can be. The first step was firing my pcp and getting myself off of some of those meds. Again I have been told I am crazy but in my heart I know I am not and I am doing what is right. No one should have to take 27 different meds including vicoden, xanax, amatriptoline and the list goes on and on. As of today I am now down to 6 meds plus the insuline. When I lose the weight I hope and pray to be off of that too. Saturday we had some friends over for dinner and I had worked my butt off cleaning and cooking and so on. Wouldn't you know I fell again and just about fell face first into the fire pit. My knee is all skinned up and my foot is black and blue and real sore. Sunday I slept for a large partof the day because when my body is in so much pain it just kinda shuts down and I sleep dead to the world while it tries to repair itself I guess. Uggh! When I did get up I was home alone because some one thought they could not stay at home while I was sleeping and needed to be around other people. Then to top it off this constant texting and phone conversations to old school friends is driving me crazy mad and jellous. I know I shouldn't be but I am. Then I am wondering if it is because I am still trying to adjust for getting off of the antidepressants. I wonder if that is making me crazy mad like this or not I have no idea just that I am just crazy mad. QWe made up after we both threw our hissy fits so it is ok. But I just wonder if this is how it is going to be or how long this crazieness is going to last? Maybe I really am crazy? well I can not find the spell check so I guess you are just gonna have to deal with the typo's. Till we meet again. Ciao!